Why Me? Now What? (A Personal Journey Through Infertility)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Things are moving... at a snail's pace

Perhaps they were right. (THEY being the scientists that had titled January 23rd 2006 as the most depressing day of the year). Today doesnt seem NEARLY as gloomy as yesterday. The sun is shining, the Federal Elections are over and decided... and I think I heard something about reaching record temperatures by this afternoon!!! Things are looking up!

I donned a dark brown blazer & slacks as I admired proudly in the mirror the "cheery" image I was putting out there for the world, despite the turmoil that was within me. Today WOULD be a good day. I would smile and maybe even laugh. Yes, it was decided... today would be the start of something wonderful.

When I arrived into the office; there sitting in it's rightful place, already full & inviting, was the coffee pot. Someone had actually MADE coffee this morning!!! Working in marketing surrounded by men, it was always something of a battle to remind them that although we had different anatomies, it did not proclude the males in our office from doing such "domestic" roles as starting the coffee pot in the morning. Something that somehow managed to fall into my job description as the Director of Marketing out of sheer necessity. But there it sat... steaming, rich & black. Surely this sign of good fortune was a precursor to other wonderful events yet to unfold today... wasn't it?

As I dialed the nurse, returning her call from the day prior, I was anxious about what she may say. Jennifer... I think that's what she said her name was when she quickly picked up the phone. I would need to remember that in case I had any more questions and wanted to call back. I jotted the name down amidst dozens of others on a scratch pad near my phone. An act of futility I am sure, since undoubtedly the bright pink post-it would land in the trash later this week when I could make no sense or reason of this seemingly random list of names on the tiny square.
Great News! I could start the IUI process... I was officially on to Step 2 in this whole thing. (Step 1 being the last 4 months on Clomid to increase egg production and better time my cycles). That sounded promissing... and not having to delay to offer my body a break was good news. But what about... "And you are wait-listed for IVF" she piped up, interupting my thought pattern. What was she saying? I would need to stop drawing stick people around the name Jennifer on the pink square of paper and focus. "You can do this round of IUI, and then take the next 2 months off to prepare for IVF." "That will be about right since the wait list is nearly 3 months"... "would this work for me?" she asked. Would it work for me? YES! YES most definitely. It seemed near perfect actually. And so it begins... this journey was officially starting.

What a day! Phew!!

After returning a zillion emails and phone calls, finishing the last of the coffee & attending a conference call; I hurried to the Fertility Clinic to purchase the clomid required for my IUI & to pay our deposit for the IVF program. Thankfully when I got there, it was quiet and I was in and out within a 1/2 hour. The receptionist was SO nice and managed to schedule us for our information meeting required to be accepted into the IVF program... March 16th! That seems SO long away! But at least we can start planning right?

Then, after wrapping up a few promotions set to roll at work, I headed home in time to change into a pair of jeans and grab the tickets to the hockey game. Just what I needed... a night with my husband to keep my mind off of everything that has been going on. We have come to love the fact our season tickets get us out with friends a few times a week, and tonight was certainly no different. Nearly 3 hours later, pocket dogs (a hotdog and baguette combination of sorts) had made a delicious dinner... a malt made an even more delightful desert and the home team won the game 2-0. Yes it was most certainly a great day.


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