Why Me? Now What? (A Personal Journey Through Infertility)

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

So... It's not ALWAYS about the money

Living through the last year being poked, prodded, emotionally challenged and running from one appointment to another, one thing has become clear. This whole thing is NOT cheap.

Fully expecting to fork out another $200.00 for the IUI this month and next, I began to review our finances while waiting for the doctor to call me back in regards to their decision. We are in no way destitute, and are considered by many to be quite well off... but regardless of that fact, the impact of all the expenses (and the even larger costs coming with IVF) are really starting to impact how we live our daily life. It started with our cutting back on dinners out, or opting for a DVD over the theatre when we felt like a movie... but the further along, and the more real the expense of Invitro Fertilization becomes, the harder it is to justify even the basic necessities. This fact has made it pretty confusing and stressful, when amidst this all, we are building a house! What were we thinking???? (I'll tell you what we were thinking: that we would be pregnant immediately, and that we needed more room for the multitude of children that would instantly come our way the moment we started "trying". )

When the phone rang, I had just completed the mathematical formula on the amount of money we would save eliminating the Venti Caramel Machiato (Decaf now that we are TTC) that had become one of my weekend morning rituals.... It was the nurse. She was talking so fast, but even still, her words seemed slow motion as she repeated the doctors orders. "No". My doctor would not support IUI without medication while I waited for my IVF cycle to begin. ????? Ok, confused, Why not? Apparently he feels that it is a waste of money... that we would be as successful having timed intercourse for the next 2 months and to save the money for our IVF fast approaching. Hmmmm.... I appreciated the fact it wasn't about making money off my desperation, but did they REALLY think sleeping with my husband would do the trick??? C'mon.... who does that REALLY work for?... Oh Okay so people do it all the time... but was it really possible for us?

With this extra $200.00 in the budget, I ripped up the scrap of paper covered with figures and scribbles I had been working on prior to the call; grabbed my keys and headed off to Starbucks. So what if it's only Tuesday? I deserve and extra treat this week don't I?


  • Good call on the Starbucks run! When I'm feeling down my personal favorite is a quad venti white chocolate mocha with caramel syrup and sauce. Iced or hot...it doesn't matter. Either way it's yup.

    Well, no one said RE's were the SMARTEST, but hey we need 'em to write the scripts. So, I guess you should just start having sex...:o)



    By Blogger Crystal, at 10:08 PM  

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