Why Me? Now What? (A Personal Journey Through Infertility)

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Easter Sunday...

Days like this are supposed to be about family, and love... and sharing time with those that matter most. It is kind of strange this year, since this year my mom is of course in Vancouver; where she has lived for 8 years now, but even Mike's parents are down south... enjoying the hot sun of Mesa, Arizona. We were alone.

A ham seamed appropriate, and as we made dinner together, we realized that next year at this time, we would be able to cook dinner in our new home. We stopped by the work site today... looks like the framing is going to start on Monday! It really is starting to look like this will be our home!

At dinner Mike started to ask me how I was feeling about hearing about other people getting pregnant. Asking me if my best friend announced to me that she was pregnant again, if I would be happy for her. Of course, I thought... she is so full of love, that I know she would be a fabulous mother to more than just her 2 year old son. I wasn't sure where the conversation was going until... he hit me with it... friends of ours that have been mysteriously absent from our lives for the last few months informed him that they are pregnant. Due in June actually... wow... that is only 2 months from now!

It hit me hard. Not because it is yet another announcement of someone getting pregnant, because I know they have been trying for a long time for this miracle. But, I am upset because they got pregnant via IUI. This whole time I was desperate to have someone to talk to that could truly understand what we had been facing for all of these years, and right there next to us, were what we had previously thought were VERY close friends (He was in our wedding party!) going through it too. The difference was, they didn't think enough of our friendship to even tell us they were going through it.

I am numb, angry and completely empty.

I know this doesn't fit the Easter Spirit, but SCREW THEM. I want nothing to do with them ever again.

1 Comments:

  • Well, it sucks. I know it's hard to hear about the pregnancy. However, to defend your friends, I know that I hold my infertility amongst even my best of friends very close to my chest. It's less painful that way. I think it's kind of shady that they waited so long to tell you, and that the news should have been shared earlier though. Happy Easter to you (even though it's almost over). :o)

    XOXO,

    Crystal

    By Blogger Crystal, at 10:28 PM  

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