Why Me? Now What? (A Personal Journey Through Infertility)

Saturday, June 10, 2006

I think I'm going to Puke

No, my stomach isn't hurting THAT bad... I am simply a bundle of nerves. I have a large bruise where I injected the trigger shot last night, and it is so tender to the touch, something that I didn't experience in the 2 weeks of injections leading up to last night. Although I am swollen, and have some sharp pains in my sides when I move around... I am comfortable as I lay in the bed with my laptop next to me. This is the only position that gives me comfort.

The moment has nearly arrived, and I now find myself so nervous... so unsure... so chaotic. I have not allowed to think of the "what ifs" through the last 6 weeks... but now I am looking at that concern head on. I have so much riding on the next 72 hours... all my dreams, my hopes and my desire to love a new child seems almost over whelming.

How do I stay calm? No wonder they sent me home with a valium for tonight. Would any woman really be able to sleep the night before a retrieval without it?

I feel like a million mice are scurrying around in my head, not willing to stop and allow for rational thoughts to form. I am a mess...

Please let tomorrow go ok....


  • Good luck!

    By Blogger Les, at 9:28 AM  

  • I read your "what you did different" to help support IVF post and I'm glad I read about it on your blog. I always feel kind of invasive when I look at those things - but your inspired me. I'm gearing up for IVF #2 and am hopeful it will work. I have age on my side (39) and not the best egg quality at ER (16 retrieved - 7 fertilized - no frostys - transfered 2 8 cell and 1 6 cell). I'm hopeful - and would love to know more about this Bolthouse Green Goodness stuff. Is it premade wheatgrass? I'm about ready to head out to jamba juice and buy some! I have a vitamix at home so I can buy some and whip it up with a little pineapple. How much did you eat after ER? Man - this TTc journey drives you nuts! My response e-mail is mbbailey@comcast.net. Congrats to you on your successful journey! Mary

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:38 PM  

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