Why Me? Now What? (A Personal Journey Through Infertility)

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The Waiting Game

9 days since my eggs were retrieved
6 days since they placed those precious embryos back into me for safe keeping
3 days since selling our home in anticipation of moving to our dream home in September
2 days since a difficult and confusing Father's Day
1 day since returning to work from time off for IVF
5 days until I will allow myself to pee on a stick to see if I am in fact pregnant
9 days until the official pregnancy test at the doctor's office.

It's a waiting game. Each day brings new worries, new questions, new milestones... and I find myself in a state of turmoil in this all important 2 week wait. I have been feeling sure about this cycle, knowing that my positive outlook was important to success, and sensing that this really could be "it".

How do I keep this inner peace and confidence without blinding walking into a potential heartbreak should this not be the month it all happens for us? How will I pick up and move on? How will we keep it together?

That is my fear for today... not that I am not pregnant, but on how I will feel should I not be pregnant... I don't even know if that makes sense.

And so I wait...

4 hours until my next progesterone suppository
5 hours until my next estrogen pill
8 hours until I can fall asleep... and be one day further through this two week wait.

4 Comments:

  • I REALLY hope these last 4 days go quickly for you. I hope you never have to know the dissapointment of a failed IVF cycle!

    By Blogger Shannon O., at 7:21 AM  

  • Good luck to you! I hope this time goes by quickly for you

    Debbi
    another cyclesista

    By Blogger Debbi, at 1:51 PM  

  • I just started my 2ww yesterday and I can totally relate to what you are feeling. I am just trying to have faith and living day by day.

    By Blogger Jamie, at 12:45 PM  

  • hang in there sweetie, it's almost over. I sure hope this is it for you!!

    By Blogger Nickie, at 2:24 PM  

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