Why Me? Now What? (A Personal Journey Through Infertility)

Friday, July 28, 2006

It's all sinking in

Things have been a bit calmer around here....the reality has settled in, and we have shared the news with our family, friends and colleagues, since it has become increasingly obvious that I was pregnant... it floors me actually, the roundness of my tummy... the way it is stiff and tender, the most basic of tasks like stepping into a pair of pants suddenly becoming an adventure in itself.... the whole thing seeming so foreign yet so comforting at the same time.

My follow up appointment with Dr. O'Keane has come and gone... feeling more assured about the coming months after having a heart to heart. He understood where I was coming from, our decision to not look at selective reduction as an option... he didn't fight it, and actually was quite supportive with this choice. He surprised me with a concern he hadn't brought up in our original conversation, that helped explain his initial concern, and his request to have me in or a repeat ultrasound. Apparently, our initial ultrasound was a bit unclear... they knew that one egg split and that two of our babies were "identical twins" sharing 1 gestational sac. But what he was concerned with, was that he wasn't sure they each had their own amniotic sac within that outer wall. If they in fact shared one amniotic sac, complications could arise with the babies tangling up with one another and potentially killing one another... but if there was 2 amniotic sacs, the babies would be safer in their own private cocoon for the length of the pregnancy.

After the second ultrasound, he still couldn't confirm 100% that there was in fact that magical membrane between the babies, but that this was not uncommon at this early stage of pregnancy. He believed he saw it, but wasn't quite sure... and so I have another ultrasound next week to see if by week 10 the amniotic sacs could be more visible.

So we're breathing a bit easier.... feeling more assured that things will be ok, and despite being sore and uncomfortable from the rush of changes my body is experiencing; I am even more sure that we will be successful in getting through this pregnancy, and being the parents we always dreamed of.